While most were out grilling on their porch for Memorial Day, these guys were just straight up eating people.
First was Rudy Eugene. It’s a long way to rock bottom, but I guess hit it on Saturday when police responded to an eyewitness who saw him eating another man’s face near the MacArthur Causeway in Miami.
Police, responding to a call about two naked men fighting on a bike path, found Eugene ripping off pieces of flesh off the other guy’s face. They tried to get him off but he growled at them and continued eating. The officer shot him once, but apparently it had no effect and he fired off at least six shots before the guy died.
The victim’s whole face was ripped apart and he’s in the hospital but the hospital is apparently not releasing any information about him.
The local news is reporting that Eugene ate the man’s nose and his eyeballs while tripping on LSD and he was body temperature was skyrocketing because of it, hence him being stripped down.
Surveillance camera footage only shows two pairs of naked legs lying next to each other by the freeway with the bridge obstructing full view.
LSD that turns people into flesh-eating zombies? Or is that just a convenient excuse for something more sinister? Makes you want to watch X-Files reruns or play Resident Evil.
Meanwhile, in Japan…
Tokyo’s own Mao Sugiyama, who claims to be asexual, had an idea: on April 18 he proposed an offer—his dick and balls in your mouth for a cool 100,000 yen (around $1,257). Grilled and seasoned of course.
Just after he turned 22, Sugiyama had the untraditional birthday celebration of an electic surgery to remove his genitals, then, accoring to the Huffington Post, “divvied up the severed penis shaft, testicles, and scrotal skin between five people.”
No details on the preparation or cooking technique, but he did have the decency to garnish the meal with button mushrooms and Italian parsely.
Apparently dozens of people watched the five diners who responded to the offer (the sixth was a no show) and paid $250 for the right to eat his balls. The police stood by because hey, there’s no law against cannibalism in Japan so chill the fuck out.
While generating an enormous amount of publicity, I’m not sure this is going to help Sugiyama do anything practical like, you know, finding a job as a chef somewhere. Here’s a fortune cookie: You can only cook your dick ‘n balls once.
If you absolutely have to see photos of charred penis, they are over here.